Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Embassy Job Vacancy Round-Up: Because We Need a Laugh

Today, we bring you a sampling of job announcements from US embassies around the globe. When they are not intentionally funny, they are funny strange, I kid you not. 

US Embassy Bogota has an announcement for an investigator and has not even bothered to write up its vacancy announcement in English.  Yes, the job is open to everyone, including Eligible Family Members.  The ad posted by the embassy online is all in  Spanish.

Is it some kind of a test - if you can't understand the ad, you should not apply? Must be dat.

US Embassy Manila is looking for a web programmer who has completed a "Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Information Technology, Web Development, or Electronics and Communications Engineering," "no experience needed," but a "Level 4 (Fluent) Speaking/Reading English and Tagalog language" required.

Apparently, you cannot do web programming in Manila if you don't know any Tagalog. WHooops! Sorry, I fell off my darn chair!  And here I thought, English is Manila's other official language.

US Embassy New Delhi is looking for an Administrative/Visa Assistant to "compose routine correspondence, coordinate travel, handle the referral system, and maintain the time and attendance. And this job requires "Level IV (Fluent) proficiency in English and Hindi."

The last I heard, embassy correspondence even in India is still done in the English language.

And that's the reason you need a Level IV Hindi for this job?

US Embassy Jakarta is looking for an "ASEAN Secretariat Liaison." The required qualifications include this: "Minimum 5 years professional experience in economic and/or political reporting and policy analysis required. Minimum of one year working in the Economic Section of a large U.S. Embassy."

Makes me wonder -- is the ASEAN mission out to poach the senior FSN at the Econ Section of the US Embassy or is there somebody who worked previously at an Econ section elsewhere in the worldwide universe that they already have in mind?

Post is also looking for an "ASEAN Public Affairs Liaison." Required qualifications include: "Five years of progressively responsible experience in communications, writing, cultural programs, higher education, teaching or appropriate public affairs/public diplomacy experience."

Oh, look, no requirement of "one year working at the Public Affairs Section of a large U.S. Embassy."

US Embassy Caracas is looking for a "Surveillance Detection Supervisor." One of the required qualifications, one year of supervisory experience: "A minimal of one year of work experience with the general public in outdoor settings. For example, street advertisement, street social worker, street salesman (saleswoman), and/or external construction worker."


If you have street work experience, feel free to send in your CV. If not, hang out here with me, we'll find some more funny ones ....


Heather said...

holy hilarity...I want to apply for the Caracas job...(Although it seems that if you were a street walker at one point in your life you totally have "one year experience with the general public in outdoor settings totally covered."

On a totally separate serious note...is it to be assumed that if an embassy doesn't have anything posted, they have nothing available? I am totally new to this world...

Domani Spero said...

Heather-- That's what I was thinking :-)

Jobs are posted online, how soon between the time it is published by HR and when it goes up online varies. If you know which post you are heading, your spouse had been paneled and all that, go contact the CLO office and request that they include you in the embassy mailing list for jobs/newsletter. Or directly contact HR, if they are willing to forward you the vacancy ads as they come out.

You can also have your spouse check the FAMER database for jobs in your future post. That'll give you an idea what jobs are there.

Good luck!

John Brown said...

Sharing your Hope in Tomorrow,

I am assuming, given the intellectual generosity so evident in your postings, that you have no objections to my quoting your great entry in its entirety on my PD blog for June 9, with of course the proper attribution. Thank you for a great -- and indeed humorous --reminder of how "personnel" works (and not just at the State Department) ... Best wishes, john

Domani Spero said...

No objection, John :-) quote away!

Smallbits said...

Thanks for a great post.

You have been included in the Weekly State Department Blog Round Up here:

If you’d prefer not to be included please let me know.